of bets and bedtimes
by Ellia-chan
Summary: what happens when ed makes a bet with mustang and loses? not yaoi. parental
1. Chapter 1

Okay this is my first story so be nice

Okay this is my first fic so be nice.

Also I don't own FMA. I never have and I never will so don't rub it in!

Edward Elric stared gloomily out of the train car window. The rural scenery flashed by but it was obvious to hid brother, Alphonse, that Ed's mind was else where. Ed had been unusually persistent on their last exploit to find the philosopher's stone and had been even more disappointed that he normally was they didn't find it.

"Hey, what's up with him?" asked Winry Rockbell. Their long time friend had met up with them in Rushvalley and decided to travel with them to Central.

"I don't know," Al said "he's been like this ever since we got on the train and the closer we get to central the worse he gets."

Al was worried about his brother. Ed refused to tell him what was wrong and every time he asked, Ed's cheek would pinkin and he would change the subject.

Ed let out a dramatic sigh when their train finally reached the station. His grey mood continued as Al called a cab and the trio filed in. Ed softly banged his head against the window and let out another exaggerated sigh.

"Okay, that's it," Winry exclaimed, snapping Ed out of his mood, "you tell us what's wrong right now or so help me I will hit you with everything in my arsenal!" She pointed to her toolbox threateningly.

"I lost a bet." Ed practically sobbed. "I bet that lazy, morally-bankrupt, conceited, arrogant, stubborn, smug bull-headed, good-for-nothing, Colonel Mustang that we would find the philosopher's stone on our next mission." Ed said both angry and upset at the same time.

"Well, what did you bet him?" Al asked, curious to know what could make his brother so upset.

Ed muttered something unintelligible under his breath and quickly jumped out of the cab as it pulled into Central HQ. Al a Winry shared a puzzled look then quickly followed.

Oooooooooo. What could Edward have possibly have bet? What could make the chibi so upset? I know but if you want find out you'll have to read the next chapter. Don't you just love cliffys? Reviews are greatly appreciated.


	2. Chapter 2

**Yeah chapter 2!! **

**Now let us join our daring (yet ever so short) hero Edward as he goes to meet the inevitable doom that is Mustang. Doom I say! DOOOOOM!! Will we find out what he idiotically bet the infamous (if not exceedingly pale) colonel. You'll have to read on to see.**

**Disclaimer: no I do not own full metal alchemist! I don't even own an Ed plushy! WAAAAHHHHH! ******

Ed's mood had changed from sulky to sour as he stomped down the halls of Central Head Quarters. Al was getting worried that Ed's automail foot would make a hole in the floor. Winry had left with Lt. Colonel Hughes who they had met in the hall. Hughes had briefly wondered about Ed's mood but brushed it off as teen angst and proceeded to drag Winry away to see Elicia. For once Al was glad he didn't have ears because they were sure to be hurt by the aggravated screams that his minute older brother was sure to let loose when he saw the Colonel.

Ed announced his arrival at the sector four office (1) by throwing open the door hard enough that it slammed against the surrounding wall.

"Come on Ed, don't do that," Lt. Havoc said setting down his coffee cup, "you'll put a hole in the wall."

"Yeah, what ever," the small alchemist mumbled "sorry."

The Full Metal Alchemist trudged into the office followed by the clanking steps of his armored younger brother.

"So any luck with the philosopher's stone?" Riza Hawkeye asked. Edward shook his head dejectedly. Al thought it was rather odd that Riza had asked this question, couldn't she tell from Ed's body language and the fact that Al was still walking suit of armor. Why would she have to clarify?

"All right than," she said almost brightly " I'll gather the paper work and be in, in a moment. Why don't you go on ahead."

Edward nodded his head somberly and slunk into Mustang's office slamming the door behind him.

Colonel Roy Mustang was doing paperwork. He hardly ever did paperwork of his own free will but today was a special day. He was awoken from his day dream by the sound of his door slamming. Heavy, uneven footsteps stomped up to his desk and a report with messy handwriting plopped down in front of him. The footsteps retreated and he heard a soft 'thud' as his blond subordinate dropped onto his couch.

"So FullMetal," Roy said without looking up from his work, "How was your trip? Get off the train okay?" He heard an annoyed 'hmpf' from the agitated teen. "I take it you didn't find the philosopher's stone." Roy said, looking up from his paperwork. He had that smug smirk on his face that he knew Ed hated.

"No," said Ed, curling up his legs and wrapping his arms around his knees.

"You know what that means don't you Ed?" Roy said, no longer able to hide the triumphant smirk in his voice.

"Yes!" Ed said, angry and sad at the same time. He laid his head on his knees, defeated.

**1) I don't know the sectors. If you do please tell me and I'll change it.**

**Muhahahaha! You thought I was going to tell you what he bet didn't you? I got you good. I will tell you that it is gruesome, it's hideous, IT WILL HAUNT YOUR DREAMS FOR YEARS TO COME!! I also like to state that I have been known to over exaggerate things. Like a lot. But it will still surprise you so stay tuned. Also I am also taking fic requests if you got'em but you gotta review my fic first. Yay blackmail and bribery! Please review if you want me to continue! :3 **


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

**Chapter 3! Yippee! I wonder if we will learn the fate of our daring (cough, chibi, cough, cough) hero today!**

Riza walked into the room with the paperwork and immediately noticed Ed in his fetal position on the couch. She glared at Roy who held up his hands in defense. The lieutenant walked over to Roy's desk and laid the paper out on the top, then she walked over to Ed and crouched down in front of him.

"Listen Ed," she said kindly, placing a hand on his shoulder, "you gave your word and now you have to stick to it. Just get it over with and it probably won't be as bad as you think."

"Yeah, whatever," Ed said grudgingly as Hawkeye pulled him to his feet and gently but purposefully lead him over to the papers and put a pen in his hand. Ed gulped audibly as he slowly lowered the pen and began to sign his name.

Alphonse stood perfectly strait against the wall of the large of the large office when Hawkeye stood up with the papers. The documents were written in many different colors of ink and covered in seals, she strode over to Colonel Mustang's office and walked in. if Al didn't know any better he'd say she had a bit of a bounce in her step. As soon as the door closed behind her, he heard a gaggle of muffled snickers from Lt. Havoc's desk.

"I have to say, Alphonse," Havoc said through his snickers, "Your brother is a genius in many things but gambling isn't one of them." Havoc could barely contain himself now. Alphonse really thought he might laugh himself to tears.

"What exactly did brother bet?" Alphonse asked intrigued and slightly apprehensive. What could possibly be so bad that it put Havoc in such a state?

"Well I guess you could say he bet his freedom," Havoc stated, "and boy did he lose!"

Al just stared in horror then ran to the colonel's office and barged in just as Ed signed the last C at the end of his name.

**I must stop here for today but fear not my dear, dear readers for all will be explained in the next chapter I swear. And the more reviews I get the quicker that chapter will be up! **


	4. Chapter 4

**Sorry for the delay folks but I've kinda been busy. I would like to thank all of you readers who have sent me reviews. If I haven't sent you a reply I'm terribly sorry but I probably got side tracked. (That happens to me a lot seeing as I have A.D.D. and I text and watch YouTube when I check my e-mail!!) I guarantee I read and appreciate all of my reviews! And now, what you've all been waiting for. The next thrilling installment of, ****Of Bets and Bedtimes****. Also there will be slight Royia and extreme OOC-ness from here on out so if you don't like that stop reading and don't flame me!**

**Disclaimer: me no own FMA! ******

Ed looked up in surprise at his brother's boisterous entrance. Though Al's metal face showed no emotion, Ed could tell his brother was distraught.

"Edward, what did you just agree to?" Al asked anxiously. Roy stood up, much to Al's apprehension.

"Perhaps I should explain," he said "as you know, Riza and I got married a few months ago and lately we have been thinking about having children but we don't know if we can handle the responsibility of kids." Roy stepped out from behind his desk and walked a slightly disgruntled Ed. "And that's where Eddy here comes in," Roy said leaning down and rubbing Ed's cheek with his own and placing a hand on his head. Al could see this made Ed very mad and embarrassed but was surprised to see that the colonel didn't seem to care. "You see Alphonse; your darling older brother has agreed to be our surrogate child for a while."

"I don't think my brother would do that." Al said defensively.

"Well I admit he might have been reluctant at first," Roy noted "but just before you left, Edward here bet me anything I wanted that he would come back with the philosopher's stone. So I said that if he lost he had to allow Riza and I to adopt him for a bit. He just finished signing for the paperwork so he is officially ours." At this Roy gave Ed a hard pat on the head making Ed grumble something unintelligible but obviously hateful.

"What was that young man?' Riza asked pulling Ed up by his ear.

"N,n,nothing ma'am" Ed said quickly rubbing his now bright pink ear as Hawkeye let go. Al was completely dumbfounded at his brother. Why would Edward agree to something like that? Then Al figured it out, Mustang must have gotten Ed into one of his moods knowing it would end with Ed doing something stupid. Roy had planned the whole thing! Al was snapped out of his daydream by his brother clearing his throat.

"Listen Alphonse," Ed said "I want you to go back to Rushvalley with Winry okay. Keep listening for leads on the stone and call if you find anything solid."

"But…" Al started to protest, "okay brother if that's what you want."

"All right then its settled," Roy said taking charge "Havoc take Al over to Hughes's house, pick up Winry, and see they safely get on the train. Lt. Hawkeye and I are leaving early in order to help Ed get settled in his new _home_." Roy with a somewhat smug voice that made Ed grimace. Ed watched helplessly as his brother left behind Havoc. After his brother was out of sight, Ed felt alight hand on his shoulder.

"If you're ready, we can go now." Riza said gently. He nodded sharply and they headed out of the building with Mustang in tow.

**Muhahahahaha! I'm evil aren't I. Now Ed is stuck playing house with Roy and Riza! Please don't flame me. Flames will be used to roast marshmallows and I won't share with you so :p. Please review, if you review you can make a fic request if you want. Also, please tell me if there's anything you want to see in this story cause I could use some inspiration. I promise chapter 5 will be up soon and will be longer than all my other chapters combined.**

**Ta Ta for now my dear readers.**

**REVIEW!!**


	5. Chapter 5

Ah now on to chapter 5

**Ah now on to chapter 5. I'm sure you have all been very interested in what happens to Edward on his first night with Roy and Riza. What calamity will ensue? What horrors will he face? I will say this, Havoc, dorky pajamas, and a teddy bear will be involved. I would also like to point out that this is not, under any circumstances, a yaoi and should not be thought of as such! Even though there are a few yaoi-esk things in this chapter that my friend pointed out to me. Well on with the story!**

Riza led Edward by the shoulder to a black car parked outside the base. He was unusually quiet and she was a bit concerned. She knew that the Elric brothers were very close and she wondered if being separated from Al hurt Ed more than she thought. She would have been more than happy if Alphonse had come to stay with them as well but for some reason Edward had asked him to go to Rush Valley. This was very perplexing to Riza, the Elrics never willingly separated for more than a day. Something must be up.

They reached the car and Edward silently got in the back seat. Roy and Riza got in the front and Riza began to drive. They rode in silence until they reached Roy's house. It was a somewhat big house, a small mansion really. It occurred to Ed that he would be spending a large portion of his time with Roy and Riza here. It also occurred to him that this idea was not exactly an unsavory one. Ed practically kicked himself when he realized what he'd been thinking, he had had a mom and no one could ever replace her, no matter how much he liked Riza. He turned from his window to see his new "parents" starring at him.

"What?" he asked a little annoyed. He didn't like it when people starred at him, it made him feel uncomfortable.

"Edward, we know you're not exactly ecstatic about coming to live with us, but please try to look on the bright side." Hawkeye said almost pleadingly, "we're not going to be cruel to you and we'll give you a good home. We'll think of you as our own son and treat you as such. So please cheer up." Ed looked up at her and saw that she really meant it.

'_I guess I have been kind of a jerk'_ he thought. He gave a meek smile and a soft "okay". They got out of the car and headed for the door. Roy put the key in the lock and opened the large, oak, front door. Ed dragged his trunk through the doorway and surveyed his surroundings. He gapped at the shear size of the place. He knew Roy made good money but he never really thought it was this good. Roy saw Ed gapping like a guppy and snickered. Ed turned to glare at him and noticed that Roy had taken off his shoes and coat. They met eyes and Ed got the message to do the same. Roy took his coat while Ed placed his shoes by the door next to Roy's and Riza's.

"Roy dear," Riza said "why don't you go show Edward his room while I start dinner."

"Sure thing" Roy said if not a bit reluctantly. Ed was a little offended by this, if he was such a chore then why adopt him. It was very confusing. Roy picked up Ed's light suit case and motioned for Ed to follow him. They headed up a set stairs and down a well lit hall. Roy stopped in front of a door that was most obviously Ed's. Ed looked at the door and groaned. On the door was a set of colorful, wooden, block letters that read "Edward".

"Is that really necessary?" Ed asked clearly annoyed.

"Riza likes it," Roy said, "and it'll help you find your room till you get used to the place." Roy opened the door and flicked on the light. The room was bright blue with white trim on the floor and glow in the dark stars on the ceiling. The bed was somewhat low to the ground and had royal blue covers and sheets. There was a chestnut burrow along the wall with a matching bookcase and desk. The bookcase had a few books on alchemy that Ed assumed were once Roy's but besides that was empty. There was a single window in the room. It was draped by long blue curtains. I was apparent to Ed that Roy and Riza had put a lot of extra effort into making the room like that of a normal child's, even though Ed was anything but normal.

"The bathroom's across the hall and Riza and I are at the end." Roy said as Ed explored his new room. Roy could see the slight smile on Ed's face as he touched one of the alchemy books. "Unpack your things and then go down stairs. I'm gonna go change. Call Riza if you need help." Roy stated as he headed down the hall. It didn't take long for Ed to unpack. He was always traveling so he packed light. He peeked out of the room and looked down the line of doors. He stepped out of his room and crept down the hall then proceeded down the stairs. He stood at the foot of the steps wondering where to go when a delicious aroma wafted up his nostrils. He deeply inhaled the wonderful smell. He remembered that Hawkeye was making dinner so he followed his nose until he found the kitchen. He peered through the doorway and saw she was stirring a large pot. She had changed out of her military uniform and into a plain white shirt and jeans. She noticed Ed out of the corner of her eye.

"Hey there," she said "are you all unpacked?" He nodded. "Wanna help me cook?" she asked. He nodded again and strode forward. "Wash your hands first." She said going back to the pot. He paused uncertainly then took off his gloves, ran his hands under the sink faucet, and started to peel potatoes. He got into a rhythm of peeling and was soon totally engrossed in his work. When Riza looked down she saw Ed's bow creased in concentration as he meticulously peeled the potato in a counter clockwise motion. It was funny to see one so young to be so serious about such a mundane task. She let out a soft chuckle at the sight. Ed looked up at her with questioning eyes.

"What?" he asked nervously "am I doing it wrong?" She gave him a soft smile.

"No," she said kindly "you're doing just fine." She gave him a small hug which caught Ed by surprise but she noticed a small smile on his face when she pulled away. He kept the smile as he went back to his potato. They were both completely consumed by their tasks that they didn't notice Roy walking in behind them. He had changed out of his military uniform and into a light blue button down and slacks.

"Well look what we have here," he said in an overly bright and boisterous manner, kind of like a mix of Armstrong and Hughes. "My _two_ little angels making me dinner, just what every man wants to see." He wrapped them both in a large hug, pecking Riza on the cheek and playfully ruffling Ed's hair. Ed pushed Roy's hand away angrily and fixed his now messy hair. Ed then proceeded to call Roy a bad name but was interrupted by Riza hoisting him up by his ear.

"We do not swear in this house young man" she said putting Ed down to start spooning the stew into bowls. "If you swear again I will wash your mouth out with soap. Got it?" Ed nodded and turned away from her to help Roy set the table.

"Hey colonel," he whispered, "is she always this violent?"

"You can call me Roy," said Mustang "and yes but I find that flowers and candy tone it down a bit." What happened next surprised and amazed Roy. Ed giggled. Edward Elric, Mr. Angry, spiteful teen, poster child bad moods giggled! And it was a lovely little sound. Somewhere between a purring kitten and tinkling bells. There was no sarcasm what so ever, it was a purely happy sound. Roy knew from the look on Ed's face that he was meant to be a happy child, but the losses and hardships in his early life had made him grow up too fast. Roy wanted to give Ed that childhood he deserved but didn't get to have. He reached out and pulled the still grinning boy into a one arm hug and gave him a noogie. Now it was Ed's turn to be surprised, he look up at Roy questioningly only to see Roy looking down on him kindly.

"Go sit down you goof," he said letting go of him "you need to eat up if you're ever gonna grow."

"**WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SHORT THAT THEY COULD DROWN IN A PUDDLE!?" **Edward yelled. Roy just laughed and gave him a pat on the head. Ed walked to his chair more than a little confused. A bowl of stew was placed in front of him and he inhaled its rich scent. He immediately went to work on draining the bowl. Roy and Riza starred at each other.

"Ed," Roy said, making Ed look up from his supper, "when was the last time you sat own for a decent meal?" Ed starred blankly for a moment trying to contemplate an answer.

"Well it's been too long if you have to think that hard about it." Riza stated getting out of her chair and going over to Ed. She took his now half empty bowl and refilled it. Ed looked up at her gratefully as she placed it back down in front of him. He began to slurp the soup.

"Edward the fact that you're hungry doesn't mean you can be rude," Riza scolded "don't slurp your soup." Ed looked a little surprised but did as he was told. Over the course of dinner Edward was continually corrected on his manners. Don't slouch Ed, elbows off the table Ed, don't talk with your mouth full, on and on the list went until by the end of dinner Edward Elric was sitting at the table the model of proper behavior.

"That's my boy." Riza said as she retrieved his now empty bowl and brought it over to the sink. Ed was a bit perturbed, he wasn't entirely sure what had just happened or what he should do now so he just sat in his seat. Roy, who had walked out of the room a while ago, came back in and stood behind Ed's chair.

"All right Ed," he said pulling out Ed's chair, "time for your bath." Ed's head whipped around.

"What!?" he exclaimed.

"You heard me; I said it's time for your bath." Roy said "I already filled up the tub with nice, warm water." Ed's face faltered for a moment, that did sound nice. Wait, no it didn't. He wasn't a little kid, he didn't need a bath!

"No" Ed said turning away from Roy "my automail will rust." Ed saw movement out of the corner of his eye but refused to turn around.

"Sorry kid," Roy said, hooking his hands under Ed's armpits and hoisting him into the air. "That wasn't optional." Ed started to try and get away but Roy turned him around and pulled him in so that Ed's legs were over his hips and his head was pressed against Roy's chest. (**A/N not yaoi!)** Ed was too confined to give a good struggle so he resigned to try to wriggle out of Roy's grasp.

"Come on, relax," Roy coaxed "it's just a bath it won't hurt"

"But my automail…my automail…" Ed mumbled looking up at Roy. Roy looked down and saw that Ed looked almost, well, scared.

"Shush," Roy said pushing Ed's face into his chest and proceeding to take the tie out of Ed's hair and undo the braid until the boy's golden hair flowed down over his shoulders. "I have already thought about your automail. I put a good amount of oil in the bathroom cupboard. When you get out of the tub just put some on the automail and it won't rust." Roy assured as he pulled Ed forward a bit and unsnapped the front of his light black coat. He gently slid the coat off Ed's back as he took the boy out of the kitchen and headed toward the stairs. "You see our neighbor across the road has an automail arm as well and he said the oil works great for him." Roy mused as he pulled Ed's socks off his feet and started up the stairs. "His daughter was very interested to hear that we were adopting you. I'll introduce you to her some time. Well here we are." Roy set him down inside the yellow and white bathroom. There was a fluffy rug under his feet and the large bathtub was steaming with warm water.

"Now get in the bath. There are towels in the closet and soap on the table next to the tub. I'll leave your pajamas outside the door, call if you need anything." Roy said shutting the door behind him and locking it as he left. Ed sighed, there was no way of getting out of it, he was going to have to take a bath. He sighed again and began to strip off the rest of his clothes.

Roy smiled; Ed could be quite cute when he wasn't angrily shooting his mouth off. He went into Ed's room and opened one of the drawers Ed had neglected to look in. He found what he was looking for, he pulled out a pair of baby blue pajamas covered in little red fire-trucks, they were just Ed's size. Riza had picked them out last week. Roy smirked; he may have to force Ed into these. Roy folded the pajamas and headed back to the bathroom. Just as Roy was setting the pajamas down he heard a large and violent crash from inside the room. He anxiously unlocked the door and wretched it open to find Ed with the bottom half of his body leaning painfully against the side of the tub and the top half being forcibly held under water by the boy's automail arm. He was stuck. His automail was drowning him. His flesh limbs hopelessly thrashed about trying to right Ed's small body. Roy rushed forward and pulled Edward out of the water, rubbing the boy's back as Ed coughed and sputtered.

"Are you okay? What happened?" Roy asked concerned.

"I slipped and my automail filled with water and I couldn't get up." Ed said between coughs. Roy continued to rub Ed's back until the blonde stopped coughing. He then gently lowered the very red little alchemist back into the tub. Edward winced slightly as his bottom hit the porcelain of the bath. Roy looked concerned; he carefully touched Ed's lower back and pressed down. The boy gasped in pain before giving Roy a dirty look.

"What the hell did you do that for?!" he growled.

"You bruised your tail bone Ed," Roy stated flatly, "you shouldn't walk for the rest of the night."

"Well then how do you expect me to get around?" Ed asked exasperated.

"Well that's easy," Roy said brightly, "I'll just have to carry you everywhere!" Ed stared at Roy with a mixture of anger and astonishment. The blonde was about to respond when they both heard a pounding on the stairs followed by a knock on the now closed bathroom door.

"Edward, are you okay?" Riza asked frantically.

"He bruised his tail bone dear." Roy answered, "His automail slipped and he banged it up a bit. I'll have to carry him for the rest of the night."

"Okay Roy," Riza said a little relieved "but could you please stay with Eddy until he's done with his bath?"

"WHAT!?" both boy's exclaimed going extremely red in the face.

"Well Eddy can't really get out of the tub by himself and what if he slips again? What if we don't get here in time?" Even as she said this Ed began to slip again. Roy grabbed him around the stomach and pulled him back as she started up again.

"Besides you two need to bond, you are now father and son after all, you should get to know each other. Make sure _my little Eddy-Weddy _gets all squeaky clean." Riza said in a motherly way. The look on Ed's face when he heard this was simply priceless. Apparently he wasn't accustomed to people calling him 'little Eddy-Weddy'. But Roy could see through the boy's silent fury a teeny weenie little itty bitty smile. The tiniest, smallest, sweetest little smirk that was so miny that it was barley noticeably, but it was still there. The kid really did want parents but he was stubborn and ashamed to admit it.

"Oh and Roy I saw the pjs you got for Eddy, nice choice. Have fun boys." They heard her footsteps recede and Roy looked down at Ed. The blond looked up at Roy with an annoyed face.

"Listen kid," Roy said "she won't leave us alone until she thinks we bonded so just bare with it okay?"

"Whatever" Ed said grudgingly. He turned his head back around and Roy noticed that the boy's automail arm had sunken like dead weight to the bottom of the tub. It occurred to Roy that Ed wouldn't be able to wash his hair with his arm stuck to the bottom of the tub like that. Mustang let out a soft sigh, then grabbed the bottle of shampoo and squirted a large glob of it onto his hand. Roy then smeared said glob onto the unsuspecting blonde's dripping head and began to rhythmically message it into his scalp.

"What are you…ah…doing?" the teen asked almost happily.

"Well the way I see it," Roy said moving his fingers in small circles, "you can't wash your with only one arm so I'm doing it for you."

"You…don't have to…mmfg…hhmfg," Ed said as he tried unsuccessfully to hide his delight that Roy was showing him this kind of attention. Roy himself was surprised that the usually course and ungrateful Fullmetal was melting like butter from a simple head message. Ed continued to let out little mewls and sighs of pleasure as Roy ran soapy fingers through Ed's long blond hair, the boy even let out a stream of those golden little giggles when Roy touched the back of his neck. It amazed Roy that the kid could act so much like a, well, kid. Roy rinsed Ed's hair then started to drain the tub. Ed began to get up but Roy pushed him back down and threw a towel on his head and started to rub it dry.

"Now what did I just say?" Roy asked softly "no walking, just a minute and I'll get you out." Roy took the towel and wrapped it around his new son's, he then hoisted the boy to eye level. Ed's cheeks were redder than they had been all day and he wouldn't look Roy in the eye. Roy sat Ed on the toilet and went over to open the door. He picked up the pajamas and walked over to Ed. Ed took one look at the pajamas and stared at Roy with those angry golden eyes of his.

"No. Effing. Way!" Ed said pulling the towel more tightly around him as he moved to get up but Roy put a hand on his shoulder.

"Now Edward, we can do this the easy way or the hard way." Roy said looming menacingly over Ed before sweeping the boy up and pinning him to the bathroom rug. The boy squirmed but couldn't get free, Roy held the wriggling blond down with his leg and grabbed the pajama bottoms. He grasped Ed's automail leg and pushed through the left leg of the pajama pants then did the same with the right. Roy the pulled the still struggling boy onto his lap.

"Listen Eddy" Roy coaxed "Riza really likes these pjs, she picked them out herself, so please just cooperate. It would make her so happy." Ed reluctantly relaxed and Roy then pulled the pajama shirt over his little blond head.

"That's my good little boy!" Roy said flicking Ed's long messy hair out of the back of the shirt. Roy picked up his small charge and headed out the door. Riza met them at the bottom of the stairs. Roy turned Ed around so she could see him. Ed looked at her with big puppy dog eyes.

"Oh Eddy, you look adorable," she cooed "come to mommy!" she said, holding out her arms. A look of terror crossed the young alchemist's face. Riza immediately saw her mistake and snatched Ed up in her arms.

"Edward I'm so sorry." She said earnestly, rubbing his back in small circles and bouncing him lightly. "You don't have to call me mom if you don't want to!" Ed hadn't been bounced like that since he was five. He had forgotten how good it felt. He snuggled into Hawkeye's hug and buried his head in her shoulder letting her know that he didn't mind her slip up. She continued to rub her surrogate son's back as she walked into the living room and placed him on the coach. Ed winced at the minor impact. Riza pushed Ed's back forward and placed a big fluffy pillow behind him.

"We're terrible guardians," Riza said sadly, pulling a soft blanket over Ed's small form "your first night and you hurt yourself."

"No, no, no!" Ed said quickly not wanting to hurt Riza's feelings, "it was my own fault for not being careful." Riza knelt down and petted Ed's head before pulling him into a motherly embrace.

"Why Edward," Riza said happily "who knew that a good meal and a little TLC could turn you into such a sweet little boy!" She kissed his forehead as she got up.

"I just made some hot chocolate, I'll get you some." She headed for the kitchen pecking Roy on the cheek as she past him. Roy walked over to Edward and stared at the blushing and slightly confused blond. Ed looked up.

"Not. A. Word." He said frowning.

"I have no idea _what_ you're talking about," Roy said innocently, scooping Ed up in his arms. "What on Earth would I have to say to _my precious little Eddy-Weddy_ about him being a little momma's boy, emphasis being on_ little."_ This made Ed growl and he looked like he was about to go on another one of his rants but Roy interrupted him.

"Hey, easy buddy I was only joking. You know you should probably be more polite considering you're at my mercy right now. So why don't you give your new daddy a great big hug?!" Ed looked at Roy with anger that slowly turned to fear which really confused Roy. Ed cautiously reached up and hugged Roy around the neck.

"I-I'll be good." Ed said in a shaky voice "just, please, don't drop me." Roy had no idea why Ed was acting like this but he knew he had to comfort the boy.

"Shush Ed," he cooed "I was only kidding, I would never ever drop you." Ed let out a soft sob and buried his head in Roy's shoulder.

"Oh Ed, what happened to you? What could be so bad?" This sent Ed into full on tears. Roy didn't really know what to do** s**o he decided to let the boy cry himself out. The man sat on the couch and wrapped the blanket around the sobbing blondes heaving back. The boy continued to cry all the while Roy soothingly rubbed his back and bounced him on his knee. Edward stopped a few minutes later. Roy pulled him forward and wiped his eyes and nose with a handkerchief then laid the boy down to see on the pillow and covered him with the blanket.

"It's alright," Roy said kindly "you don't have to tell me. Just watch some TV okay?" Roy turned the channel to jeopardy and looked down to see Ed starring up at him with grateful puppy dog eyes the size of dinner plates. He laughed and ruffled Ed's hair, making the boy smile. Riza returned with Ed's hot chocolate and the boy sipped happily from his cup as he and Roy competed to see who could answer the most jeopardy questions. Roy got most of the ones about government and Ed got most of the ones about foreign countries. Halfway through the program Riza left to take a shower. Five minutes later the door bell rang. Roy scooped Edward up and walked over to the door. Roy opened it to find Havoc leaning on the door frame.

The blond man had a brown paper package under his arm and his signature cigarette in his mouth. He was starring quizzically at Roy who was holding a very embarrassed and wide eyed Ed. Jean raised an eyebrow and Ed buried his beet red face in Roy's shoulder.

"Hey boss," Havoc said, stepping into the hall "I dropped Ms. Rockbell at the train station and she asked me to give this to Ed." He said holding up the package. Ed perked up at this and reached out to snatch the parcel out of Havoc's grasp but Roy took a step back, pulling Ed out of grabbing range.

"Now Edward," Roy said in a fatherly tone "say please."

"Pleeeeeeaaaase Havoc?!" Ed whined, using those big, gold, puppy dog eyes that he knew would melt Havoc into a goopy, drippy puddle.

"Aaaaaawww!" Havoc sighed giving Ed the package and petting him like a cat as he ripped off the wrapping to reveal an automail maintenance kit.

"She is the worst gift giver ever," Ed said with a sigh "but I guess it's the thought that counts." Havoc smiled down at Ed then looked up at Roy.

"Hey colonel," he said getting Mustang's attention "can I hold him?"

"Why?" Roy asked blankly.

"He just looks so adorable right now that it's hard to resist plucking him out of your arms." Havoc explained. Roy thought for a moment then said,

"Okay but put out your cigarette first, I don't want him to get burned." Havoc doused his cigarette and Roy peeled a now clinging Edward off his back.

"Hey don't I get a say in this!?" Ed exclaimed as he was passed from one man to the other.

"**NO!**" both men said together. Havoc cradled Ed in his arms and rocked him back and forth. Ed looked up at him and frowned. Havoc nosed Ed's forehead sweetly and Ed growled.

"Stop treating me like a baby!" Ed said angrily.

"Come on Ed, it's not my fault you're so cute." Havoc said making Ed blush and avert his eyes.

"I know what will cheer you up." Havoc said brightly. He lowered his arms a bit then hefted a very alarmed Ed into the air. When Havoc caught him Ed's pupils were huge, his breathing was harsh, and he was shaking all over. Roy saw this and knew the boy was scared out of his mind.

"NO HAVOC STOP!" Roy yelled but it was too late. Havoc launched the frightened boy into the air once more. As soon as havoc caught him Ed began to scream.

"NO, I'M SORRY, I'LL BE A GOOD BOY, DON'T HURT ME, PLEASE!!" Ed cried, tears streaming down his face in rivers. The boy was screaming and crying and writhing to get out of Havoc's grasp. His arms started to flail, his automail barley missing Havoc's very surprised face. Roy swooped down on the boy to try and calm him down.

"Hey, what's wrong, you're fine, just calm down." Roy said in a soothing voice. He tried everything he could think of to calm the boy, he rocked him, he bounced him, he patted and rubbed his back, but to no avail, the boy would not calm down. So Roy did the only thing he could think of, he stopped playing dad and turned into colonel. He held Ed at arm's length.

"**FULLMETAL TELL ME WHAT'S WRONG RIGHT NOW!**" he commanded in his 'colonel voice'. It didn't work. If anything it made Ed eve more upset.

"**FULLMETAL STOP CRYING THIS INSTANT OR**"

"**ROY MUSTANG**" Riza yelled, cutting off Roy's tirade, "**GIVE ME THAT BOY RIGHT NOW!**" Roy was shocked to see Riza standing in her pajamas holding out her arms and looking thoroughly ticked off. Roy handed a still sobbing Edward into Riza's outstretched arms and was amazed to see the boy immediately start to calm down. Riza walked over to the couch and sat down with a softly sobbing Edward.

"Oh poor baby did they scare you?" Riza cooed softly "don't worry, you're okay, mommy's got you, you're okay." Ed tightly hugged Riza and grabbed the back of her pajamas. After awhile, Ed's sobs became light sniffles and eventually stopped all together but his clinging hands never left Riza's pjs. Riza took out a handkerchief and began to wipe at Ed's tear stained face all the while petting his head lovingly.

"Now what was that all about?" Riza asked, more to Havoc and Mustang than to Ed.

"I have no idea," Havoc said confused "I just tossed him in the air once or twice and he just started bawling. I don't get it, I do it to my niece all the time and she loves it."

"Well he's not afraid of heights so it must be something else." Roy said. He knelt down so he could look Ed in the eye.

"Ed, someone dropped you when you were little didn't they." Roy asked softly. Ed nodded his head sadly.

"My dad did." He said sadly "He did it to punish me, he did it so much that I've been afraid of being held ever since."

"Well he won't do it ever again." Roy said "You're safe now and he can't get to you." Roy patted Ed on the head and Ed smiled up at him. Roy and Havoc sat on the couch next to Riza and Edward. Havoc grabbed Ed around his waist, which made Ed squeak, and pulled the blonde boy onto his lap.

"I'm sorry I scared you, I didn't know." Havoc said nicely "forgive me?" Ed nodded and Havoc squeezed him then ruffled his hair. Roy got Ed some oil for his automail (because they had both forgotten to oil it after Ed's bath) and Ed got to try out his new maintenance kit. Then all four settled down to watch 'Amistrian Idol'. As the show went on, Riza noticed that Ed's eyes were beginning to droop. He was practically falling asleep in Havoc's arms.

"All right mister," Riza said taking Ed from Havoc "bedtime!"

"WHAT!?" Edward exclaimed, "But it's only nine o' clock!"

"Yes," said Riza "but you're obviously tired and you need your rest, you're a growing boy after all." Ed wriggled in Riza's arms but the woman had a vice grip and there was no escape. Ed sighed in defeat and let himself be carried up the stairs to his room.

Ed leaned heavily on Riza's shoulder as she walked into his room. She turned down the covers and sat Ed on the bed. Ed snuggled into the soft sheets and sighed in comfort. He looked up to see Riza smiling down at him mischievously. She appeared to be holding something behind her back.

"I've got a present for you!" she said brightly. She pulled a teddy bear from behind her back. Ed stared at it wide eyed, he hadn't had a teddy bear in years. He used to love them so much as a kid too. Riza took his stare as a look of disgust.

"It's okay if you don't like it." She said a little disappointed. She had been expecting this, Ed probably thought he was too old for teddy bears. She turned to put it away but was stopped by Ed thrusting out his arms.

"Gimme" he said. Riza raised an eyebrow. "Pleeeaaase gimme?" Ed whined. Riza laughed and handed the bear to Ed who held it close to him exposing his belly. Riza couldn't help herself, she leaped on the unsuspecting boy and started tickling him with every fiber of her being. The boy laughed and squirmed trying to wriggle away but to no avail. Riza lifted up his shirt and blew a loud raspberry right onto his stomach making Ed squeal in delight. They both collapsed into a fit of giggles at this.

Riza tucked the still smiling Ed back into bed and pulled a book out of his bedside table and began to read. The book was Peter Pan, one of the books that Trisha Elric had read to Ed and Al to get them to go to sleep when they were young. Ed listened to the words of the familiar tale and was soon fast asleep. Riza looked at Ed's sleeping form, his long blonde hair like a halo on the pillow behind him, teddy bear clutched to his chest, a soft smile gracing his small pink lips. She leaned over and kissed his forehead.

"Good night Edward," she whispered heading for the door "and welcome home."

**Well that's all for now. I hoped you thought it was cute and not creepy. Please review! Flames will be used to roast marshmellows!**


	6. Chapter 6

**First I would like to thank all my readers. You guys are awesome! I would also like to point out that this chapter will be split into parts because it is too long for me to type the entire thing at once. Also I would like to point out that there is an OC in this chapter and quite possibly the rest of the fic. If you don't like don't read! Well on to the story.**

Ed woke up to the smell of waffles. Oh he loved the smell of waffles. His mom always made them on Saturday mornings when he was a kid. But something was wrong, today was Thursday and this wasn't his room. He was in a messy blue bed and a teddy bear was standing on its head next to him. Then he remembered, he had lost the bet and now he was stuck playing house with Roy and Riza! He flopped back down on the pillow with an aggravated sigh. He tried to go back to sleep but sleep wouldn't come. With another sigh he got out of bed and stretched. He would never admit it but that had been one of the best night's sleep he'd had in a while. He made his bed, neatly tucking in the sheets and covers under the sides of the mattress and placing the pillow on top. The teddy bear, which he had decided to call Cob, he placed on the pillow where his head had been moments before. Satisfied with his work, he decided to go down to the kitchen and find those waffles.

He padded down the stairs on bare feet and peered stealthily into the kitchen. But it wasn't stealthily enough.

"Good morning Edward."Riza said from the stove. She was wearing a white blouse, blue jeans, and high healed sneakers. Her sudden outburst surprised Ed (A/N. Ed would like me to point out that he was surprised _not scared!_) and had made him fall back on his butt. Riza hurried over to him and helped him to his feet.

"Are you okay?" she asked. He nodded his head even though he had landed on his still sore tailbone. He walked into the kitchen to find Roy in his military uniform, sipping coffee and reading the news paper. Roy looked up to see Ed, still in the blue fire truck pajamas, hair down and still a mess from sleep. He smiled.

"Morning sport!" he said brightly "how'd you sleep?"

"Fine" Ed said shrugging. Luckily for Roy he had missed the part about Roy calling him sport because he was still a bit sleepy. He sat down at the table and Riza set a plate of fresh waffles in front of him. They smelled delicious, all covered in butter and syrup, Ed immediately began to shovel them into his face. Riza raised an eyebrow at Ed. Upon seeing this, the boy swallowed an overly large mouthful and began to eat more politely. She smiled and placed a cup of apple juice at his place. Roy smirked, one night and Riza had already broken Ed of his bad eating habits. Ed was just about to take another bite when he started to giggle uncontrollably.

"Ha ha ha, stop it, ha ha ha, that tickles!" Roy looked under the table to see Black Hayate licking the toes on Ed's flesh foot. Riza had also noticed Black Hayate and snapped her fingers making the dog run to her side and heel. The dog had spent the night outside in his dog house and was very hungry. Riza gave the dog his food as Roy and Ed finished their breakfasts. Ed got up to put his place in the sink and Riza noticed that his face was covered in syrup. She got a paper towel, licked it to get it wet, grabbed a startled Ed by the chin, and began to wash away the stickiness.

"Eeeeeew, stop it!" Ed said squirming to get away, "that's so gross!" Riza finished and let go of Ed's face.

"All clean" She said giving Ed a kiss on the forehead making Ed blush.

"Well I'm off to work." Roy said walking up to Riza and kissing her on the lips. Edward and Black Hayate politely looked away. Roy scooped Ed up, bringing the boy uncomfortably close to Roy's face.

"Alright Eddy time to give daddy a kiss goodbye!" Roy sang squeezing Ed close. Ed was thoroughly taken aback.

"No. Freaking. Way. In. Hell am I kissing you!" Ed growled turning away from Roy and earning a disapproving glare from Riza.

"Come on, just a little peck on the cheek," Roy coaxed nuzzling the side of Ed's face with his nose. Ed just huffed and jerked his head the other way.

"I won't let you down until you kiss me goodbye." Roy sang into Ed's ear. Ed turned to Riza for support but she just nodded her head in a go on gesture. Ed turned around defeated and saw Roy smirking at him. The man turned his head sideways and tapped his cheek expectantly. Ed frowned and shot forward, softly kissing Roy on the cheek before quickly pulling back looking annoyed.

"Why thank you Edward," Roy said hugging Ed close and kissing the boy on the cheek making Ed blush. Roy set Ed down on the ground, ruffled his hair, and then headed out the door with a wave. Riza waved back before heading upstairs. Ed trudged into the living room where he proceeded to plop himself down on the couch to watch cartoons. A little while later, he felt something brush through his still messy hair. He looked around, startled to find Riza with a brush and a hair tie behind him.

"I can do it!" Ed said still a bit startled by Riza's sudden appearance.

"I'm sure you can," she said grabbing Ed's shoulders and turning him around "but I want to do it." She went back to her task and Ed just sat there stiffly, thoroughly embarrassed, but as she 

continued Edward began to enjoy the feeling of the brush on his scalp. He sighed contently as Riza began to braid his hair.

"Really Edward," Riza said "your hair is too long. You look like a hippy." A vein popped on Ed's forehead.

"No comment" he said forcing himself to behave. Riza finished and kissed the top of Ed's head.

"All right go get dressed." she said flatly "I left your clothes out on your bed. Once you're done we can go shopping seeing as it's my day off." Ed nodded and rushed up the stairs. He was anxious to get out of the embarrassing pajamas and into something more familiar. He reached his door and looked inside his room. On his bed were white boxers, a pair of faded blue jeans, and a light green long sleeve t-shirt with a lighter green rim around the neck and cuffs. There was also a pair of socks that matched the shirt and his gloves.** (A/N so much for familiar!) **Ed frowned.

"Riza," he called down the stairs "where are my clothes?"

"On your bed." Riza called back.

"No," he said "I mean where are _my_ clothes?" he answered a little annoyed.

"Oh" Riza said in realization "those old things are dirty and need to be mended. Just wear what I put out for today." Ed sighed but decided to play along with Riza's game. If she wanted to play mom who was he to stop her? Ed padded down the stairs to see Riza putting on her shoes. He went to do the same but his boots were nowhere in sight, in their place were a pair of brand new white sneakers.

"Riza," he said quizzically, Riza turned to look at him, he pointed at the sneakers "where are my boots?" Riza smiled. Ed finally looked like a regular kid, well except for his hair. It really was too long.

"It's too hot for boots," she said matter-of-factly, "just wear these shoes for today." Ed sighed but he did what he was told. He knew it was pointless to argue unless he wanted a beet red ear and a butt full of lead. Riza smiled again and patted Edward's head.

They headed out the door and walked down the street to shopping district. The shops where alive with people. Vender's could be heard advertising their wares and the bright babble of many voices could be heard all around. The two wandered about, Riza stopping at a few stores Ed just followed thoroughly bored out of his skull. Riza noticed this and thought of an easy solution. They walked to the open area in the middle of the district that was scattered with benches and picnic tables, there was a large tree in the center. Riza turned to look at Ed.

"Ed," she said "I have to go pick something up and it could take awhile. Why don't you go look in some shops and I'll meet you back here in say an hour."

"Okay." Ed said, he was kind of relieved that he didn't have to go in anymore boring clothing stores.

"oh and take this," she said handing him a military credit card, "in case you see anything you like." The two parted ways and Ed went off on his search to find something to do. After walking around for a while he saw a pet shop with a litter of kittens in the window. A particular blonde kitten caught his eye, it reminded him of Al. He walked into the store and over to the enclose. The cat walked over to him and he petted it's head. He grinned as it purred under his touch.

"Seems like Andy likes you." Said a voice behind him. He turned around to see a girl his height smiling back at him. She had blonde hair tied back in a ponytail with a few strands framing her face. Her gold eyes sparkled with life and her smile was bright and kind. She had a bowl of cat food in her hands.

"Andy?" he asked.

"I know I shouldn't name them," she said placing the bowl in the pen and watching the cats greedily eat from it, "but it seems so rude to call them all 'it'" she turned to Ed and smiled again.

"You're new around here aren't you?" she said holding out her hand for him to shake. He took her hand.

"yes and no." he said "I've been in and out of the city for years on visits but I just moved in yesterday." Her smile never faltered.

"Well I get off as soon as the animals are fed, if you help me finish up I could show you around. That's an equal trade right? So what do you say?" Ed nodded. He liked this girl; she was bold to the point of bordering blunt but at the same time maintaining an iridescent aura of kindness. She also seemed to share his philosophy of equivalent exchange. Plus it didn't hurt that she was cute, extremely cute.

Wait what? Ed mentally shook himself, he didn't even know this girl and here he was thinking she was cute. What's up with that? The girl handed Ed a can of salt water fish food.

"Okay," she explained "the salt water fish are on the right side of the back wall and the fresh are on the left. You start on the far right and I'll start on the far left and we'll meet in the 

middle. Two shakes in each tank ought to be enough. When we're done with the fish all that's left is the rabbits and the hedgehogs and then we can go!"

This girl was pretty energetic. No more so than Ed but still pretty energetic. The two began their fishy task at separate ends of the store. The pet store had dozens of fish, many of which Ed had never seen before. He was amazed at all the different shapes, sizes, and colors they were. The only fish he had ever really observed were the ones he and Al caught in the river when they were kids, but those fish had all been pretty plain. These fish on the other hand were bright and lively, not unlike the girl that tended them. He took a moment to look up from feeding the fish to sneak a peek at the girl. She was smiling that thousand watt smile of hers as she watched the fish swim to the surface of the tank to eat the food.

"Be nice Killer, Jaws save some for the others, Dorsal don't fight with Fin, come on Gill you got to be more aggressive." The girl whispered to the tank where many silver fish with red and blue stripes swam about.

"You didn't tell me you could speak fish!" he said with a smirk.

"Sorry forsive habit" she said rubbing the back of her head and chuckling a bit. Ed chuckled too and they both finished their sides. Then the girl took the can of fish food from Ed and headed to the door behind the counter motioning with her head for Ed to follow. The door opened to a room filled with different kinds of pet food. Ed was amazed that there were so many different kinds of food. Ed came back to himself when he felt a plastic cup being pushed into his hand. He looked down to see a cup filed three quarters of the way full with food pellets. When he looked up he saw the girl holding out a pair of carrots and a few lettuce leaves.

"That is for the rabbits," she said as he took the vegetables from her " pay attention when you put the food in the pen because Blackie gets a bit nippy." He nodded and watched as she pulled a can of cat food off the shelf.

"Wait I thought you had to feed the hedgehogs not the cats" Ed said puzzled.

"You thought right," she said smiling at him and heading out of the store room. She walked over to a medium size cage in the corner of the store and popped the pull tab on the lid of the cat food can.

"You see," she said, overturning the can in the bowl inside the cage, "hedgehogs really like the taste of cat food." (A/N friend Spencer told me this.)

She tapped the inside wall of the cage quickly a few times which caused two little, prickly, rodent like, creatures emerged from a small hut at the back of the cage. The two hedgehogs hungrily gobbled up the food. The girl intently watched them to make sure they ate everything. 

Ed turned around and went over to the rabbit pen in the middle of the store. He poored the pellets in the food dish. He then broke the lettuce and carrots into smaller pieces that he then hand fed to the three white, brown and gray rabbits. He placed a handful in front of the black bunny remembering the girls warning. The boy and rabbit starred at each other, each daring the other to move. The contest was interrupted by the girl, who had removed her green store apron and was now wearing a light blue t-shirt and jean capris. She pulled Ed away from the pen and toward the store door.

"I'm taking my lunch break Mrs. Kim. I'll be back by one." She called into the office next to the dog cages where a sat at a desk signing papers.

"All right, have fun." The woman called with a wave.

The girl pulled Ed out by his arm and into the bustling shopping area. She began dragging him along pointing out shops and waving to people cheerfully.

"This place makes the best rock candy in central." She said pointing to a small candy shop. "Hello Mr. Clark," she said waving to the man at the newspaper stand. "He's really nice to kids, always reads them the comics." Ed just smiled and followed as she led him through the crowded streets. It took awhile for Ed to realize that he had no idea where they were.

"Where are we going?" Ed asked the girl who was gently guiding him by the wrist.

"Where I always go on my lunch break!" she said brightly.

"And where might that be?" he questioned.

"You'll see when we get there," she answered, "It'll be a surprise!" Edward smiled. It was hard not to. There was just something about this girl he really liked, something he couldn't resist, something he couldn't quite put his finger on.

'_well I guess it doesn't matter where we're going as long as I'm back at the picnic area by one.'_ He thought.

His thoughts were interrupted by the girl stopping in front of a dark blue shop filled with flashing colored lights.

"An arcade?" he asked a little surprised, he didn't think girls liked that sort of thing.

"It's not just any arcade," she said happily "It's Z-Drive, the best arcade in all of central. I come here when I have a break because I have a bit of a reputation to uphold. Come on it's fun!" she pulled him into the arcade which was full of kids raging against the machines. Many of them, Ed 

noticed were wearing employee uniforms for various stores. The girl led Ed to a pair of machines labeled 'ALCHEMY ASSAULT!'

"This game is really fun," she said handing him a quarter, "It's one of my favs!" Ed put in the quarter and began to play the game. He got the hang of it right away and the girl was shouting out advice the whole time. A crowd had begun to form around the two. Ed made it to the second to last boss before he was defeated. The machine flashed "HIGH SCORE" and asked him for his initials. His initials, E.E., appeared in the second place slot bordered entirely by E.P.'s.

"Wow!" said the girl, "You beat my second place score, no one's ever done that before! Good on ya!" she slapped him a high five. Ed smiled and took a look at the clock.

"HOLY CRAP, IT'S 12:50!" he exclaimed, "There's no way I can make it back to the picnic area by one! I am so dead!"

"Have no fear, I have a plan!" the girl said. "Gimme your tickets!" Ed handed her the tickets that had poured out of the machine. She took the tickets in her fist and to the prize desk with Edward in tow.

"Hi Tom, I need two skate boards and fast!" she said in a hurry. The man reached behind the counter and then handed her two skateboards and helmets.

"Do you know how to ride one of these?" she asked. He nodded his head. He had had to learn for a mission he had a few months back. He grabbed a board, snapped on a helmet, and the two teens skated out the door.

"Follow me." The girl said and the two skated into the busy streets. They swerved around startled pedestrians yelling out fast shouts of 'sorry', 's'cuse us', 'comin through'. It had been awhile since Ed had skated so he was a bit rusty. He looked up to see the girl skating in front of him. No, she wasn't skating, she was flying. Her movements flowed like liquid mercury. She navigated the busy street with natural ease despite the crowding. She flew down the way with an experienced eye, calculating every possible obstacle before easily evading. She was amazing and Ed felt an unbidden blush creep up his cheeks as he watched her go.

He looked up at the clock tower to see that it was three minutes to one. Luckily the picnic area was in view. But just as he thought he was home free, two men carrying a large ladder crossed his path. They wouldn't be out of the way in time. He was sooo dead if he didn't reach Riza in time.

Suddenly the girl shouted "Just do what I do!" She jumped down on the board so she was lying flat on her stomach. She easily slid under the ladder and popped up a few yards ahead. Ed 

repeated the motion and caught up with the girl just as they reached the picnic area. The two stopped under the tree and caught their breath.

"You know it just occurred to me I never asked your name." the girl said as Ed looked around for Hawkeye.

'It's Ed," he said as he spotted Riza and waved. "And you?" he asked turning around, but the girl was nowhere in sight. He looked around and spotted a flash of gold as the girl skated off into the crowd. Ed shook his head making his braid bounce. She was a strange girl and he had a felling they would meet again. He turned around and walked toward Riza.

**Well that's all for today folks! There will be much more Ed torture in the next half of this chapter! Pancakes for reviewers! Except for Evee, she gets waffles. Sweet, sweet waffles! :3**


	7. Chapter 7

**Hey guy! Sorry it took so long to update but I've been busy! Well I know you all want to know what is going to happen to Ed so I'll make this quick! I do terrible things to the poor chibi in this part so I'M SORRY, SORRY, SORRY, SO VERY SORRY! PLEASE PLEASE DON'T FLAME ME!! I'LL GIVE YOU COOKIES!**

**Disclaimer: I only own the cookies!**

"What's with the smile?" Riza asked as he approached her. She was holding a large white shopping bag.

"No reason," Ed said "what's with the bag?" He leaned over to look in the bag but Riza pulled it out of view.

"No, no it's a surprise. You'll have to wait. Now come on, we have somewhere to go." She said and with that she turned and walked away with Ed following close behind. The two walked a long time and Ed was getting tired.

"Hey Riza, how much longer? I'm getting hungry!" Ed whined.

"We're almost there. In fact it's right up there." she said, pointing to a shop two buildings up. Ed looked at the building and immediately noticed something. Hanging above the door was a swirling red, white, and blue pole. Ed put two and two together and quickly turned to run only to have his collar grasped by Riza.

"BUT I DON'T WANT TO GET MY HAIR CUT!" Ed exclaimed, scrambling to get away.

"No son of mine is going to have hair like a hippy! Now stop being a baby and come with me or no sweets for a week!" Riza said grabbing him by the hand and dragging him into the barber shop. A bell tinkled and a man smiled at them. Ed summoned up all his powers of cuteness and looked up at Riza with the biggest, saddest, most adorable puppy dog eyes he could muster.

"That won't work Ed, you're getting a haircut and that's final." Riza stated flatly. She turned and smiled at the man who had walked up to them.

"Hello folks," the man said brightly "what can I do for you?"

"I want his hair cut to a respectable length." Riza said "It's much too long as it is." The man nodded and led Ed over to a chair. Ed sat down in the chair and the man tied a smock around his neck and propped the chair up so Ed's legs were dangling. The man took Ed's hair out of its braid, grabbed his shears, and began to systematically cut away at Ed's hair. Ed watched as chunks of his long, golden locks floated to the ground. He shot an angry glare at Riza, he had liked his long hair and she was making him get rid of it. Riza just stared back unmovingly. He hated how she did that.

The barber had switched from shears to smaller, buzzing, clippers as he got closer to Ed's head. Ed's hair was now shorter than it had been when he was a kid, really it was more like Al's used to be.** A/N think Ed when he was in London. **The barber moved in front of Ed and began to trim his bangs. He clipped them a bit but still left them long enough to frame Ed's eyes.

"How's that ma'am?" He asked as Riza approached Ed.

"Yes, much better!" Riza said happily. The barber swept off the back of Ed's neck, then took off the smock and let the boy out of the chair. Riza paid the barber and the two walked out of the shop.

Ed rubbed the back of his head as he gloomily trudged down the street behind Riza. Riza began to feel a bit bad about the whole thing but knew it had to be done. She walked up behind Ed.

"Listen Ed," she said kindly "I know your kind of upset but I have a present for you." Ed looked up at her.

"Yeah, what's that?" he asked apprehensively. She reached into her purse and pulled out a copy of 'Treasure Island'.

"I know you don't read a lot of fiction but I think you might like this." She said, giving him a one arm hug. Ed smiled just a bit. The book wasn't enough to make up for the loss of his braid but it was a start. Riza saw his smile and felt better.

"Now that you're done with your little hissy-fit about your hair, we go to the Hughes's house for lunch." The two headed down the street in the direction of the Hughes's house.

When they arrived at the Hughes's, Ed's stomach was grumbling. He really needed to get some food in his body, it was almost two o'clock! The two climbed the front steps and Riza rang the doorbell. Gracia opened the door and happily greeted them.

"Hello Riza, it's great to see you!" she said kindly, and then she spotted Ed. "Ed…Is that you? My gosh you look so…so…"

"Go ahead, I can take it." Ed said bracing himself for the worst.

"So…CUTE!" Gracia squealed, scooping Ed up in her arms and spinning around. Now Ed was definitely no expecting that. Since when was it okay to pick him up like he was a three year old?! Just because he got some new clothes and a haircut automatically makes it okay to treat him like a kid? I think not!

Gracia, still holding Ed, led Riza into the living room. She put Ed on the couch and told him that lunch would be ready in a few minutes and to feel free to watch T.V. Then both women walked into the kitchen, but not before Ed caught Riza with a hand over her mouth trying to stifle giggles. Ed turned to the television and began to watch a show about pandas when he felt someone starring at the back of his head.

"Who are you?" a small voice asked. He turned around to see Elycia Hughes starring at him from on top of the couch. She was wearing a light pink dress and she was staring at him intently.

"It's me Edward! Don't you remember me?" Ed asked. Did he really look that different? She squinted at him then smiled. She slid off the top of the couch and climbed onto his lap.

"You cut your hair. It looks good!" she said brightly.

"Really?"he asked surprised.

"Uh-huh! You look like a prince and I'm the princess. Come on let's go play!" she said, and with that she grabbed his hand and dragged him upstairs.

Meanwhile, in the kitchen, Riza and Gracia were having a conversation while Gracia stirred a pot of mac'n cheese and Riza tossed salad.

"I don't know how you do it Gracia," Riza said "I've only been a mom for two days and I'm already having problems. I spent one night with him and so far he's bruised his tail bone and burst into tears. He just seemed so helpless clinging to me." Riza let out a soft sigh. Gracia looked at her kindly.

"I'll admit that it's a hard thing to get used to," she said stopping her stirring "but you have to stick with it for Ed. It's really a rewarding thing to be a parent, just ask my husband!" They both laughed at that.

"That reminds me, Gracia, there is something Roy and I wanted to ask you." Riza said, Gracia turned off the stove and looked at her. "Would you like to be Ed's godmother?" Riza asked with a smile. Gracia smiled back.

"Of course," she said "I would be honored." The two heard movement upstairs and, considering that lunch was done, went to check on the kids. They climbed the stairs and opened Elycia's door to find Elycia, in a pink princess hat standing on top of her play house castle and Edward, in a plastic crown standing with his arms out stretched beneath her.

"I'll catch you princess!" he said heroically. Elycia jumped into his arms and kissed him on the cheek. Riza couldn't help herself she burst out laughing. Ed whipped around and immediately turned very red in the face. Gracia smiled.

"Now what were you two doing?" she asked, crouching down to their level.

"Well, you see, uh, we were, um, we were,…" Ed stuttered.

"We were playing princess!" Elycia exclaimed. Ed turned even redder if that were possible. Gracia walked over and took Elycia from Edward's arms and headed out the door. Riza walked over to the still red Edward. Ed looked up.

"I just have a soft spot for kids." He said embarrassed. Riza took off the play crown and kissed him on the forehead. He reddened a bit more but smiled. The two headed downstairs and into the kitchen. He sat at the table across from Elycia and Gracia placed a bowl of mac'n cheese in front of him. He hadn't eaten mac'n cheese in years. It wasn't that he didn't like it, he just thought it was too childish. He looked up to see the two adults eating salad. Yuck, if he had to choose between looking like a baby and eating that rabbit food, he'd choose looking like a baby. He hungrily began to eat the food, but not so greedily that Riza would get angry. He soon finished and with a happy sigh put his head on the table. Riza smiled at this. Edward was in a good enough mood for her to initiate the next step in turning him into the perfect son.

"_Oh Edward,"_ she called sweetly. Ed looked up and eyed her suspiciously.

"What?" he asked nervously.

"I have a surprise for you." She said walking over to him carrying the box that had been in the bag she had been holding earlier.

"Well you're just full of surprises today aren't you?"Ed said sarcastically. Riza walked over to Ed, pulled him up by his elbow, dragged him to a bedroom door, gave him the box and pushed him into the room closing the door behind him. Ed was startled at what had just happened. He looked down at the box in his hands, he had to admit that he was curious to find out what was inside it. He eased the top off the box.

"ABSOLUTELY NOT!" Riza heard from the other side of the door.

"Nu-uh, no way, never! I am not wearing it!" Ed exclaimed angrily.

"Put it on Ed, then come out so I could see." Riza said calmly. Ed was about to protest but he heard the soft click of Riza turning off the safety on her gun and thought better of it. He sighed and began to take off his shirt, he grimaced as he saw the dark blue cloth that was about to replace it. Riza was standing by the door. She had also changed into a uniform and was staring at him analytically. She fixed a few pins here and there and helped Ed put his watch on his belt loop, then she fixed his posture and stood back to admire her work. She smiled approvingly.

"Perfect Ed, now we can go to work!" she said brightly. Ed double taked.

"But I thought you said it was your day off. I don't want to go to work in this thing, they'll make fun of me!" he said defiantly.

"No they won't, besides I already called a cab to take us to HQ" just then, the yellow taxi pulled up outside the house. Riza grabbed Ed's arm and dragged him out of the house, thanking Gracia as they past her at the door. Ed was pulled by the arm into the car and was soon on his way to head quarters thoroughly against his will.

**Please don't kill me!!** **I will give cookies to reviewers! Not flamers! FLAMERS GET NOTHING!!**

**SHAME ON YOU FLAMERS! SHAME!!**


	8. Chapter 8

**HEY LOOK I'M NOT DEAD! I know that I have been away for ever but hopefully I'll be updating a lot faster now! Now on with the story!**

**Disclaimer; I own nothing!**

A few minutes later found Ed and Riza walking through the front doors of central HQ. People whispered and stared at them as they passed in the halls making Ed feel thoroughly mortified. They reached their office and Riza walked in.

"Good afternoon everyone." she said crisply. Everyone in the office snapped to attention. They had expected her to be out all day with Edward.

"Hey Hawkeye, where's Ed?" Havoc asked. He hadn't seen the pipsqueak when the lieutenant walked in. Hawkeye looked around and then, not seeing Ed, walked out the door. The occupants heard a loud 'I don't wanna!' as Hawkeye pulled in a small figure with short blond hair and a little uniform. It took the subordinates a moment to realize that they were looking at the infamous Edward Elric. Breda began to crack up hysterically, Falman and Fury were trying to stifle giggles, and Havoc grinned before saying "aw, isn't that cute!"

Ed was not happy about that. He was about to beat the living snot out of them but then got a better idea. He turned around and looked at Riza with those puppy dog eyes he was getting so good at. He grabbed her uniform flaps, his eyes now brimming with tears. She looked down at him and frowned. She put a sympathetic arm around his shoulders and pulled him into a one armed hug, then she pulled out her gun and shot at each man within an inch of their head. They all looked at her with fear and shock.

"You should be ashamed of yourselves." Riza said angrily, "you're setting a terrible example. Just look what you did." she rubbed Ed's back reassuringly. The officers looked at the boy with his face buried in Hawkeye's side, his back shaking with silent tears.

Ed's back was really shaking with silent giggles. He hid his face so the others wouldn't see his wide grin. The looks in their faces when Riza shot at them were priceless. He had no idea that her motherly protection instincts for him would be so strong. Oh, he would have some fun with this.

"It's okay honey," Riza said, petting the back of Ed's head, "they won't bother you anymore." Ed looked up slowly with watery doe eyes.

"You promise?" he asked as innocently as he could. Riza nodded and patted his head kindly, then she gave the other soldiers a warning glare and walked over to her desk. Ed was about to follow her but was stopped by Havoc coming up behind him and clapping him on the shoulder.

"We didn't mean it kid, are we cool?" Havoc asked. Ed nodded "Good cause you look adorable in that uniform and I wouldn't want to be the one to put you off wearing it!" Havoc said with a laugh. Ed grimaced, why was it suddenly okay to call him cute and adorable and pick him up like a baby? He was 13 gosh darn it! He was a state alchemist! He deserved respect not babying!

Yet, deep inside, there was a part of him that kind of liked what was going on. A part that liked being treated like a kid for once and liked having parents that he didn't have to worry about and liked having a place to go home to every night and liked not having to travel. It was that part of him that made the rest of him feel weak. Some survivor he was , trying to replace the family and home he once had. It isn't like Roy and Riza really cared about him, once they got their own child they would forget all about him. He looked up to see Riza smiling down on him kindly and realized she would probably leave him just as his real mother had. He felt a burning of unbidden tears well up behind his eyes but he would not let them fall. He suddenly felt warmth as Riza wrapped her arms around his back and pulled him close. Her eyes gazed into his with a look of love and concern.

"Are you alright?" she asked softly, "You looked on the verge of tears there for a second." Ed cuddled closer and returned the hug.

"Yeah I'm fine, no problem." he said with a smile.

"Well if you say so. Why don't you go report to the colonel," she said still a bit worried, "He has something for you to do and I'm sure he will have _something_ to say about your appearance." said with a smirk.

"Yeah, I bet." Ed said disdainfully. He walked over to Colonel Mustang's office then wretched open the door and slammed it behind him. He stood before the colonel's desk.

Said colonel had been daydreaming and had jumped at the sound of the slamming door. He looked up at the soldier in front of him. He had clean-cut short blond hair, gold eyes, and shoulder stars that showed he was a major. There was something familiar about him that Roy couldn't quite place.

"Hello major, is there something you needed to tell me?" the colonel asked.

"Yeah, Hawkeye said you had something you needed me to do." the soldier said. This perplexed Roy, he hadn't called for any soldiers all day.

" Well that can't be right," Roy told the confused soldier, "I have no idea who you are so how could I have called for you?" The soldier looked confused for a moment before smirking.

"What's the matter Roy, don't you recognize your own _son_?" the boy asked sarcastically. Then it clicked, this was Ed. This is what Riza meant when she said she was going to take him 'shopping'. Roy should have seen this coming, Riza had never really liked long hair on men and he knew it annoyed Riza that Ed had never worn a uniform. This was likely to happen when they adopted Ed. Roy just didn't think she would do it this soon.

Roy got up from his desk and slowly walked around Ed, observing his new look. The uniform fit him perfectly, not too long but just big enough so the cuffs on the sleeves wouldn't show his automail. The military blue complimented the color of his skin and contrasted his gold hair and eyes, making them seem to glow a bit. His hair was short but not too short and his spiky bangs, now shortened, brought out those shining eyes of his.

"Well I have to say Ed, you look positively cute with short hair." Roy said ruffling Ed's head, "and the uniform looks good on you so stop moping. Now it has come to my attention that you haven't handed in a report for your last mission."

"Come on Mustang!" Ed said indignantly, "I told you the mission was a complete flop, why do you need a report?!"

"Well I would be willing to do it for you for a price," Roy said with a sly smirk that Edward didn't like one bit, "if you are willing to start calling me daddy we might be able to work something out."

"NO WAY IN HECK MUSTANG!" Ed yelled angrily.

"You'll come around." Roy said smugly gathering some paper and a pen.

"Don't count on it." Ed said quietly as Roy handed him the writing supplies.

"Now I expect this to be finished by the time I come back from my lunch break understand young man?" Roy said crossing his arms and walking behind where Ed had taken a seat on the couch.

"Yeah, yeah whatever." Ed mumbled looking down at the blank paper. Roy smirked, he leaned down and placed a light kiss on the top of Ed's head before quickly exiting the room. Roy smiled when he heard flustered grumbles as he closed the door. He could just imagine the blush on Ed's face as he walked down the hall.

Roy went down the stairs to the break room where he was sure a war was about to break out. Because Riza had already chosen Gracia as Ed's godmother, that only left the position of Ed's godfather to be filled. Unfortunately just about everyone wanted the spot, Fuery, Falman, Breda, Havoc, and even Armstrong had already asked him about it. The only person who didn't seem to be bugging him about it was Hughes. Roy cautiously entered the break room to see all his subordinates gathered around Riza as she sat at the table reading a book.

"So who's it going to be Riza?" Havoc asked, bouncing on the balls of his feet.

"I have decided," Riza said as all the others in the room leaned forward in expectation, "that Roy will decide who the godfather his."

Before Roy could even comprehend what his wife had just said, the subordinates were gathered around him trying to get his attention. They were jumping at him and all talking over one another. Roy backed up to the wall as they gathered around him. He looked around for an escape but found none. He would have to pick someone if he wanted to get out of this. But who should it be? He couldn't pick between his subordinates! Then a solution appeared, Hughes walked through the door. Hughes of course, why hadn't he thought of it sooner! Hughes was great with kids and he had known Ed for years.

"Hughes is the godfather!" Roy said wrapping an arm around Hughes's shoulder. There was a collective sigh from the subordinates as they left the room disappointed.

"So now I'm Ed's god father?" Hughes asked. Roy nodded and Hughes's face broke into a huge grin.

"Oh Roy, I knew you'd pick me if I didn't bother you! This is so great now elysian someone to be her big brother! Oh no now I have to get started on making a photo album for him! There is no way I'm allowing my godson to grow up without photographic proof of his life! Just think of all the cute little outfits I can get him now! Oh this will be so wonderful!" Hughes cried excitedly. Roy had the feeling that he had just made a very bad mistake.

"Now where is the little guy?" Hughes asked. "I want to tell him the good news."

"He should be finishing up his report now." Roy said, "We should head back." with that everyone went back to the office.

They arrived just as Ed was exiting Roy's office. Hughes got one look at Ed and rushed forward. He swept the boy into his arms like a baby and twirled around.

"Oh Eddie-kins you look so adorable. O yes you do! Yes you do!" Hughes said in his baby talk voice. He nuzzled Ed's forehead and sprinkled his cheeks with kisses. Ed was definitely not used to being smothered by Hughes so he was understandably freaked out by this.

"Hughes what are you doing? Put me down!" Ed yelled, trying to get out of Hughes's grasp. Hughes just hugged harder.

"What am I doing? Why I'm just cuddling my new godson is all!" Hughes said squeezing Edward tightly. Ed was flabbergasted! Why would Roy and Riza do this to him? They knew how Hughes got! They were supposed to protect him! Ed glared heatedly at Roy over Hughes shoulder.

Roy was equally surprised at Hughes's antics. He didn't think he would freak out on Ed like he did on Elysia. With all the kissing and hugging and baby talk. It made Roy kind of angry that Hughes was doing that to _his_ Ed without Roy's consent. _Roy_ was supposed to be the father right!

"Look at you Eddie, you look so sweet!" Hughes said holding Ed at arms length, "Short hair really suits you and that uniform is just adorable! Oh but you know what would look even cuter? A little sailor suit! I saw one in the window of the shop where I buy all of Elysia's clothes, and it was just your size too! As soon as work is off you, Riza, and I are going to get you a new wardrobe! Won't that be fun?!"

Ed thought about just how much "fun" that would really be and immediately began to try and get out of Hughes's grasp.

"ROY, RIZA, HELP ME!" Ed called pathetically. Within a second, Hughes found himself with Riza's gun pressed threateningly into his temple.

"Maes," she said calmly, "give Edward to Roy. Now." Hughes slowly handed a _very _relieved Ed to Roy who softly cuddled him to his chest.

"It's okay Eddy, Daddy's got you." Roy cooed, surprising all in the room buy his tenderness. "I'm sure Uncle Hughes didn't mean to scare you." Edward was embarrassed at the public display of affection but he had to admit that he did feel calmer now that he was out of Hughes's smothering episode. It felt good to have a safe place for once, even if that place was that stupid colonel's arms.

As soon as Ed was done calming done he tuned into the ending of a conversation going on between Riza and Maes.

"So it's settled," Riza stated, "you will treat Edward as you normally do for the remainder of the day and then later tonight the three of us will go to the store you like and you can pick out three things for him."

"What about pictures?" Hughes asked in a stern yet hopeful tone.

"You may take as many as you want as long as you don't upset him." Riza said holding out her hand, "So do we have a deal?" Ed watched in horror as they shook hands, sealing his fate.

"Okay Ed," Hughes said in his normally manner, "Why don't you come down stairs with me? We just got a shipment of evidence confiscated from the laboratory of that crazed chimera maker in east city and Sheiska and I could use some help moving and cataloging it." Ed looked up at Roy questioningly. Roy smiled and placed the boy's feet on the ground. Ed smiled up at him and began to walk over to Hughes.

"Fine Hughes, but one more cuddle episode and I'm filing for a restraining order." Ed said. Hughes laughed and the two turned to leave.

People turned to stare at Ed in the hallway. More that once, a female officer came over to pat his head and tell him how cute he looked. Ed, of course, became exceedingly more annoyed and embarrassed by this, and by the time they reached Hughes's office he felt like crawling into a hole and disappearing.

Hughes's office was full of boxes. Sheiska was busily moving things around and filing things in large cabinets. She stopped as Hughes and Ed walked in.

"Oh hello sir," she said, "did you find someone to help me with this?"

"Right here!" He said excitedly, pushing Ed forward. Sheiska rushed over, dropping her box.

"Oh, who is this little cutie?!" She asked in a baby talk voice.

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING A MIDGET SO TINY THEY COULD GET STUCK IN AN ANT HILL?!" He shouted angrily. She immediately let him go.

"Oh my gosh, Edward is that you? What happened? Why are you so much more cuddly and adorably than normal?" she asked.

"I lost a bet with Mustang!" He said annoyed. Hughes tried to break up the tension in his normal way, by displaying pictures of his daughter.

"Oh don't you two be a couple of grumpy gooses. I know what will cheer you up, my darling daughter Elysia!" He said, producing about twelve pictures from his pocket. "There now isn't that better. Now the two of you get to work. This stuff won't file itself you know!"

He left and Sheiska and Edward began to catch up while working. Ed became so distracted that he didn't notice a stray beaker on the ground until he slipped on it and fell, dropping the box he was holding. The box was filled with bottles of cloroform which broke when the box hit the floor, spilling everywhere.

Ed fell into the puddle which soaked his skin and clothing with sweet smelling liquid. Ed began to flail about trying to get out of the mess, but every time he did he just slipped and fell again. By the third fall he was so drowsy that he collapsed into a deep sleep.

"Oh my gosh, Edward!" Sheiska cried, finally noticing that Ed was unconscious. Hughes hurried into the filing room at the sound of her cry. He saw Ed lying in the puddle on the ground and rushed to the sleeping boy's side. He pulled Ed into his lap and checked his pulse. He was fine except for the fact that he was asleep. His clothes were drenched in the sleep inducing chemical, Maes was getting sleepy just holding him.

"Sheiska, hold down the fort for me okay." Hughes said, Lifting Ed up and holding him bridal style. "I'm going to bring him upstairs to Colonel Mustang."

"Is he going to be okay?" she asked worriedly.

"He'll be fine, he's just going to sleep for awhile." Hughes said leaving the office cradling Ed in his arm.

Hughes burst into the office with the sleeping Ed. Riza looked up and jumped to her feet at the sight.

"Oh my goodness, Hughes what happened to Edward?!" she all but shrieked. She rushed over to Hughes and leaned over Edward, checking for injury. She wrinkled her nose when she smelled the cloroform and looked up at him accusingly.

"There was a little accident down stairs with some cloroform. Ed kinda fell into a big puddle of it and kinda sorta passed out." Hughes said defensively, knowing that if Riza thought he was an unfit baby-sitter he would never get that shopping trip with Edward, not to mention that he would look like Swiss cheese thanks to all the bullet holes Riza would put in his head for letting Ed get hurt.

"I couldn't stop him from slipping. Sheiska was watching him at the time." He explained. Riza stared at him analytically for a good few minutes before sighing.

"Well I guess as long as nobody got hurt you're off the hook Maes." she said finally. Hughes let out the breathed he'd been holding.

"Thank goodness," he said " for a second there I thought you wouldn't let me take him shopping."

"You can take him as long as Roy or I are with you." She said taking Edward from Hughes. Just then, Ed let out a little half sigh, half mewl and cuddled into Riza. Havoc squeed. (1)

Colonel Mustang, having been roused from his "paperwork"(aka mid day nap!) came out of his office to see what all the commotion was about. He saw Ed in Riza's arms and ran forward.

"What the hell happened?!" He yelled turning around and glaring at Hughes. Roy stalked forward toward Hughes. Hughes put his hands up defensively, he knew if he didn't come up with something fast he would be Bar-B-Que. Luckily Riza came to his rescue.

"Easy Honey, this wasn't Maes's fault." She said, placing a hand on his shoulder. "there was an accident with some cloroform, Ed's just sleeping." Roy looked at her, then the cowering Hughes, then at the sleeping Edward. He sighed.

"Alright people, damage control." He said in a commanding voice. "Hughes go clean up that spill, Riza go put Ed on my couch , the rest of you get back to work."

They all saluted and did as told. Roy headed back to his office with Riza at his heels. Roy went to his desk and started some papers. Riza removed Ed's blue coat, leaving him in a light black turtle neck, then laid him on the couch. She kissed his forehead then exited the office.

A few minutes later the door was opened by none other than the Furhur himself. Every one snapped to attention.

"Furhur sir, what do we owe the honor?" Riza asked.

"At ease," Bradley said. "I've actually come to speak to you Lieutenant. It has come to my attention that you and Colonel Mustang have adopted my dear little Fullmetal. Is this correct?" he asked.

"Yes it is sir." Riza said calmly, though on the inside she was nervous. If the Furhur didn't approve of the adoption he could take Ed away. She couldn't let that happen!

"Well there's only one thing to be done," the Furhur said, " Riza Mustang, I am gladly promoting you to the rank of Lieutenant Colonel."

"Thank you sir!" she said Breathlessly. "But may I ask why?'

"You have been deserving a promotion for a while now and the pay raise will help you support your new son." He said, "Plus now your son can't pull rank on you. Now if you don't mind, I need to go speak with your husband." He turned and opened the door to Mustang's office.

Roy was sitting at his desk, idly folding his paper work into airplanes when the Furhur walked in. He hastily stood up and saluted.

"Furhur sir," he said nervously, "what do I owe the pleasure?" The Furhur paid him no mind as he strode into the room and closed the door behind him. He walked over to the couch where Edward lay and smiled fondly.

"Children are amazing creatures wouldn't you say colonel?" he asked Roy as he stooped down to look into Ed's face.

"I Don't think I know what you mean sir." Roy said, eyeing the Furhur suspiciously. Bradley turned to him and smiled.

"I suppose you don't yet Roy," he said, picking Edward up into his arms and walking over to Roy's desk. "But with time you will. Fatherhood is a wonderful thing. And if there is one thing Fullmetal needs it is a father."

The Furhur placed the small alchemist in Mustang's arms and stepped back. Edward sighed contentedly and cuddled into Roy. Roy looked down at the boy in his arms and smiled lightly. The Furhur nodded his head and turned to go.

"Take the rest off the day off Colonel." he said walking out the door, "Oh and I will be telling your mother about your new little bundle of joy when I have tea with her on Sunday. Be looking forward to her call."

Mustang watched him go, he was not looking forward to that call. He had neglected to tell Lady Mustang about the bet and knew she would not be happy about being left out of the loop. Hopeful she would be merciful and not take it out on Ed.

He looked down at said alchemist in his arms. He smiled and hoisted him up so the boy was leaning over Roy's shoulder. Mustang headed out of his office and told Riza he would meet her at home. He then headed out the door, son snuggling into his shoulder.

**1; lol squee-ing Havoc! I can't believe I wrote that!**

**That's all for now everyone! Please review!**


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